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[Radio Static]

THE REPORTER:

Good evening, Witherburn, we have a lot of very interesting stories this week. Seriously, secret fathers, burnt down Walmarts and treehouse cities. I could barely keep up with it all, especially because my dad kept nagging me about getting a job. I can't tell him that this is my job, but that's neither here nor there. Buckle up, listeners, because it's going to be a wild ride on Witherburn Afterschool News.

[Theme Music]

Let's start with a story I have been wanting to discuss all week. As we all know by now, Annie Marie is having a baby with her fiancé, Harvey. 

Now, I don't want to pass judgment. There has already been talk about the fact that she is having a kid with her fiancé, who I don't know if you couldn't tell isn't her husband yet. A fact that has sent the church ladies into quite a tizzy. I mean, he has been her fiancé for what, seven years? That's more what gets me about that relationship.

Put a ring on it already? I mean, people talk, you know? But anyway, that's not the point. We already know about that mess of a relationship. Now the crazy part is that Elliot Dean from Magnolia has started to claim the baby is his.

It's even crazier how people found out because he came to Annie's door with flowers. So her neighbors started asking him questions, cause she's, you know, with Harvey and this strange man pops up with flowers and he's all like, these are for the mother of my future child. Which means if this is true, Annie cheated on Harvey, which, okay, maybe that was obvious.

I'm going to be honest, I wouldn't settle for Harvey either. But what's crazy is Elliot is like going all out. Elliot said, I'm not going to be a deadbeat dad. I mean, he's buying baby supplies and apparently, and I can't confirm this, has bought Annie Marie an engagement ring. He bought an engaged woman a ring, that is just absolutely insane.

There's also a rumor that he said,

“ I don't even need a DNA test. Whether it's my child by blood or not, I will still be a better father than Harvey.” 

 Shots fired.

Okay, listeners, this is all my opinion after this point, but I think Annie Marie should go with Elliot. I mean, Harvey hasn't been pitching in for the baby stuff. Y'all, Harvey can't even plan a wedding date.

He doesn't have a job and Annie Marie has two. And she's pregnant. She has two men fighting for her and one is bringing her flowers while the other is bringing her what? His NFT collection? I'm an outsider, but Harvey seems very complacent in this relationship while Elliot seems very certain.

Also, after asking around in Magnolia, Elliot is apparently like the most stand-up guy in town. He volunteers at the food shelter and works at the vet clinic. Even his exes say he's a great guy.

So like Annie, I would say go for it. Elliot seems like the better option. I know he's the most dramatic choice, but the church ladies are already gossiping about you. What's a little more? But that's just me. I'm quite the hopeless romantic, and this does seem like the plot line ripped straight from a Hallmark movie. Good luck to Annie Marie. She'll surely need it. 

Okay, I know most of you were waiting for this story, but I just had to talk about Annie. Let's discuss what happened to Mrs. Calloway.

I wanted to start this by saying I was correct and she was with her sister. So for anyone still worried, it has been confirmed that she is very alive and well. Obviously, it is still devastating for her to lose her house, she said she had important files for the missing persons cases in there.

Files that will never be seen again. But the most important thing is that she is safe. She did mention that it's very unnerving that someone was outside her house before it exploded.

But she isn't totally surprised. The reason she was at her sister's in the first place is because those people she mentioned in the woods have started getting closer and louder. She started seeing them more and more too.

Eventually, she started losing sleep, so she opted to stay at her sister's for the night. This is disturbing and for that reason, she asked that I don't specify where she is staying for the time being, which is very, very fair. It took five hours for the firefighters to put out the fire.

The house was essentially burned to the ground. Luckily, it didn't spread and was kept contained. After the investigation, it was found to be a gas leak that caused the explosion.

Mrs. Calloway swears she didn't leave the stove on or anything like that, but the investigators think it was a random gas leak and a freak spark. Wrong place and wrong time type of thing. Though I'm not a person that believes in coincidence.

Apparently, neither is Sheriff Sinninger. He even went as far as to imply that it was Mrs. Calloway's fault, saying she probably left her curling iron on the counter. Really? Somehow that was insensitive and sexist.

Dude, she just lost her house. Maybe don't be a jerk. Anyway, despite people stalking her and reports of people lurking around her house before the fire, there will be no further investigation.

They are just accepting that it was probably an accident. I honestly can't even make this up. If they aren't going to investigate it, then I will.

I talked to Rosemary's and with some light convincing, I managed to get a peek at their security cameras. Is this possibly illegal or at the very least against the company handbook? Yes, but these were extenuating circumstances. Anyway, I took a look at the footage and it's grainy, but you can see a person sneaking around Mrs. Calloway's from the outside camera.

They came from the woods, hung around for about 15 minutes, and then ran away. I'm talking Olympic level sprint, then the house exploded exactly an hour later.

However, I think the most damning piece of evidence is that the blurry figure looks like she has a backpack on when she is walking towards Mrs. Calloway's property. And when she is running away, there is no backpack. Now, if I were a betting man, then I would bet money something was in that backpack.

Something that caused the Calloway's house to go up in smoke. So I did some digging and with a few lies, I managed to ask Mr. Farrow if he had anyone buy anything flammable or explosive in the last few days. He said Sheriff Sinninger bought a few items, but that was for the police station. So dead ends there.

 I mean, I guess they could have bought the stuff from Home Depot or something. Actually, whoever it is, is burning houses down, So I don't really know if they care about shopping local. If I had more time, I might have been able to check out the larger stores, but no, my dad wanted me to apply for jobs. But making extra cash isn't that important when you're trying to save the town.

Anyway, I hit a dead end, but I'm sure that someone was responsible for the house burning down. I'm just missing something. It's whatever, I won't figure it out on air.

Let's talk about another fire this week. That's right, I'm talking about how the Walmart was set on fire. Too many fires, Witherburn. Too many fires. This one, though, is a little funny. So for those that don't know, Walmart will be closed for the week.

Why, you may ask? Well, because the Carlsons set the Walmart on fire. Who could have guessed the Carlsons? That's right, everyone. Apparently, it wasn't their fault, though.

The older Carlson had stacked the cart with cheap toilet paper. They want to note that this was not to toilet paper Mr. Engler's house, and anyone saying it was is spreading slander. So, yeah, they were buying a bunch of toilet paper, and while they were looking for more, a guy who was smoking passed by.

One thing led to another, and a shopping cart was on fire in the middle of Walmart. Which, side note, who still smokes indoors? Isn't that illegal or something? It's, quite frankly, gross. Vaping, too. Take that outside.

 So yeah, Walmart's gonna be closed for a week because their whole toilet paper aisle is burnt to a crisp. Luckily, they were able to stop the fire from spreading beyond that.

Now the question is, who's gonna pay for all this? Because the owners are mad and want to blame the Carlsons. Which, I admit, is the easier option. But to be frank, listeners, it was obviously the smoker's fault.

Because one, ew. Two, buying an absurd amount of toilet paper is not a crime. Also, do we really need either of them to pay for that much toilet paper? Companies have insurance for that, I think.

And, like, I don't know. I feel like we are so obsessed with getting what's ours that we can't even make mistakes anymore. You know, not everything needs repercussions or a lawsuit or whatever.

Sometimes an accident is just an accident. I mean, most shopping mishaps don't result in Walmart being closed for a week. But still, I stick by my point.

Anyways, they don't want anyone who's not an employee in there while they're fixing things. It's a health hazard. So Walmart will be doing free curbside delivery next week in case you need to grab anything from them.

Though I would use this as a chance to shop at your local mom-and-pop shop. But that's just me. 

Dramatic week, Witherburn, but let's wrap this up with one last segment. You guessed it, Monster of the Week. The sponsors today are actually the Merry Band of Misfits.

I'm a little shocked because I thought they had more of a head on their shoulders. But also, these are the people who protested homework and tried to Ocean's Eleven an alligator. So maybe that was too much faith in them.

Anyways, the Merry Band went on TikTok live this morning to their thousands of fans and explained what happened to them last night in the woods. This isn't just them making this up either because one of their parents saw them right after this happened and they were sufficiently spooked. So what exactly did they see? Well, the Merry Band was working on their treehouse town.

I don't have time to truly dive into the lore around this treehouse town. You'll have to go to TikTok for that. But essentially, they say all cool heroes have a secret fortress so they went into the woods to build a treehouse.

Typical kid stuff. But then they were like, well, there are a bunch of us so we actually need to build a treehouse for everyone with bridges connecting them. So they began hauling enough wood for like six treehouses secretly into the forest.

They have documented this whole journey on TikTok. There have been bumps in the road because some wanted to tell their parents where the houses are so they can help out. But obviously, this defeats the whole secret hideout purpose.

That was like mainstream TikTok drama for a whole week. But they've grown past that. Anyway, that's all you really need to know about the whole treehouse city lore.

So this morning on live, they told the story of last night when they were being watched. The group ended up staying out past dark, which they don't usually do, but this section of their treehouse was almost finished and they thought it would be quicker to finish it now rather than later. So they begin finishing up and one of them hears something in the woods.

Now, at first, they don't think much of it because they know the woods have plenty of harmless animals, many of which come out at night. They honestly assumed it was a deer or something. But one group member swears they heard multiple footsteps coming towards them.

This group member didn't bring it up with the group because he thought he was being paranoid, but others started to hear the footsteps circling them. It sounded like they were inching closer and closer. Then they said they all got this hit in their stomach.

They said it didn't feel like they were being watched. It felt like they were being stalked, stared at.

That feeling that you have when you know someone is staring daggers at you. They had all stopped what they were doing at this point and began to pack up. Till someone pointed their flashlight towards the tree line.

20 pairs of glowing eyes were staring at them. All around them, hiding behind the trees. When the flashlight fell on the eyes, they tried to duck back into the bushes, but it was too late.

The kids all let out screams and began to drop all of their supplies that they began to sprint back to the nearest house. Apparently, they heard these creatures chasing after them. Some of them were laughing as they chased them.

Some were letting out these wretched screams. It felt like they were getting closer and closer until finally, they made it to the house, then the chasing stopped.

They went and told a trusted adult, good job kids always do that. Then the next day, a few of the braver ones went to grab their things.

None of their stuff was stolen, but they did find footprints all around their treehouse. The kids seemed to have different descriptions of these creatures, which makes sense because they only had a few seconds to get a good look at them. Some kids said they were so pale they looked translucent, like a ghost.

Others say they were wearing long white coats. But everyone agrees, they looked strangely human, but not quite. Something seemed like it was missing.

They also all agreed on the glowing eyes. They say that part is practically burned into their memory. Now, what on earth could they have seen? Well, I turn to one of the more well-documented legends of the Appalachian area, the Moon-Eyed People.

This creature is from Cherokee folklore and is supposedly found all along the Appalachian Trail. This creature is described as pale white with large glowing eyes that are shorter than the average human. In the Cherokee myth, they are so sensitive to sunlight that they hide in caves all day and only come out at night to hunt and feed.

Their eyes are made to reflect the moonlight, and that glow is the only way to know that they're watching you. They look human, but are described as having this soulless quality about them. Some legends even say they drink blood, which makes this legend sound like an off-brand vampire.

Anyways, according to the later myths, the Cherokee drove them underground, banishing them to the darkness forever. But there, they bide their time till they could rise up against the humans who trapped them. Until then, they make trips to the surface, grabbing people and dragging them down below to feed upon.

Now, the facts behind these moon-eyed people are actually quite interesting. Some say that this legend was made up by European colonizers in order to prove that they were actually here before the Native Americans. Though, there are a few very well-documented accounts of Cherokee tribe members telling this story to European settlers, including a couple of interviews for newspapers, so I feel like that's a bit of a stretch unless a whole bunch of unrelated people were willing to lie.

Another theory is more of a historical conspiracy. See, there was this Welsh prince in the 1100s that ran away after his brother took the throne. He disappeared for 10 years, fleeing west.

Some people believe that he sailed all the way to the Americas. Legend says they established a colony and lived there till they died. Now, this does line up with the rough estimate of when the moon-eyed people were around in Cherokee folklore.

However, I feel that the chances of this prince having settled in America are pretty slim. The legend of the moon-eyed people will forever be one of those mysteries. But I hear you asking, Reporter, what do you think the merry band saw out there? 

Well, I honestly think it was poachers. They usually wear night vision goggles to avoid flashlights. They wear simple colors to avoid being seen. Plus, they probably were just trying to scare off the kids before they started hunting.

I know plenty of people who have run into a suspicious hunter or two, so they aren't unheard of in this area. Whatever they saw out there, they're trying to avoid it. Fans of the TikTok series will be sad to find out that they are taking a hiatus until things blow over.

They said they want to continue the series, but at this point in time, they can't say when or if it will be coming back. They'll be doing whatever is safest and feels the best going forward, wWhich is good for them.

Honestly, I'm proud of them for taking that route. Well, I wish them the best of luck, and I hope they stay safe. With all that being said, I'm out of stories for tonight.

[Window Crash]

Oh my god, oh my god! Someone just threw a brick through my window! Sick prank! Nice shot, cowards! Next time, try doing something funny! I'm sorry, listeners. That was completely... unexpected. So, so, um... I don't know how to say this.

Attached to that brick are some disturbing photos of the missing people. They're, um... They're... shit. They're tied up.

Oh my god, they look so scared. They're in these, like, choir robes. All of them.

Oh my god, I think I'm gonna throw up. There's, there's this shed. It's out in the woods.

And there's a picture. For each one of them. It's... it's all the missing people.

It's Jonathan, it's... Oh my god, it's Chloe. I don't want to look at these anymore! I don't like this! I don't want to play whatever sick game this is! God! God, I don't... I've gotta, I've gotta pull myself together. Good night.